How do you know when you are just dreaming? When all you want to do is to please him. You rather be stupid and dumb, than to let the feeling be gone . It is hurting. It is aching.
Trust is everything there is. But you are frightened and shaken to do things to go out of hand and to fix it is beyond your means. Trust is not even worth to mention. You trust him. He trusts you. Just hope, he gets this point just like you do.