Last night, when I was about to leave a dinner party, somebody whispered to me, “Don’t change something that you can not change”. I was taken aback. No clue. Nevertheless, I had no time to retort.
What did I try to change? I was clueless. As far as I know, what or how I am acting now is just real. No surgarcoated hi’s and hello’s. If I do not talk to people long, that only means that I have no business with them, more so, about their lives. If I chat longer, he/she must be a friend, whom I trust. I work because I get paid, nothing more, nothing less. It’s the price I pay for seating in my current seat now. I know, it’s a hot seat. I am always subjected to scrutinizing eyes. Some people are so keen as to how I behave in and out of the office (as simple as, how I eat and how many pounds I gain). Sure, I never fail to recognize the support showered unto me. I am my own person. Do me a favor, do not tell me what to do. For the past months, I kept my silence. I am an adult with my instinct and common sense intact. There is no way that I will mess up my life just because of some minor lapse of judgment. Let us just respect each other and stop interpreting people, because I tell you, most of them are not true.
I love my work. I am doing my best to be “the best”. In fact, it gets in the way of being together with my husband. I had to think of it a thousand times before I decided to shift my gear. I hope that the waiting game will soon be over, and so I can get away here.