Filipinos’ View on Fil-West Marriages


It irks me the most, whenever

….people tell me that I am so lucky for marrying a foreigner and surely, I am already financially stable;

Of course, I am lucky, but not because I got a dollar-earner for a spouse. I am lucky because I got a husband who loves and cares for me to death. Though we come from the opposite sides of the planet, mutual love and respect never cease to prevail in our relationship. He is the light of my world, because he never fails to instill in my indifferent mind that there is God who loves us. I love him, and it just so happen that he is an American. As for the financial matters, I am proud to say that I already have a career when I first met him, so it is no issue for us, who’s earning what. It’s also the reason why I want to settle here in Philippines and enjoy what I have. Sure, it’s not my ticket to the USA. Prior to my marriage, I applied for an Internet-based company and after months of convincing my supposed-to-be employer, I was hired. I was promised also to get a 5-year business visa in the USA if things will be good. But I eventually lured myself away from it.

….a salesperson, recommended by neighbors, will disturb my deep sleep during weekends just to offer me things, especially on installment basis, that I don’t need, but only because they think that I can afford it;

You see, I am light sleeper. A straight eight-hour sleep is already a luxury for me. With the existence of big department stores and continuing bargain sales within the locality , I can always buy things that I need on an interest-free rate. When I got married, I started to become a miser. I was an impulsive buyer then, but I was able successfully cut it. I became conscious with my finances. I spend within my means, which is very contrary when I was single and considering that my purchasing power has tremendously increase. Well, marriage has set a new priority for me.

….ladies asking if my husband knows somebody whom he can hook them up with;

Actually, this one is no big deal for me, but for my husband it is. He does not like meddling with other people’s lives, especially love life, and so he avoids being involve in it, worst, starting it.

….and lastly, seeing me as a walking brown ATM!

This is self-explanatory.

MY TAKE-ON: I just hope that Filipinos will realize that NOT all Fil-West relationship is grounded by the love of money or by the love of having a life-size trophy.



8 thoughts on “Filipinos’ View on Fil-West Marriages

  1. This doesn’t exclusively apply to marriages like yours.

    I have a brother who works abroad, and people assume that life is better off because of this. Many run to us/him expecting for ready help with their financial problems.

    Of course, making ends meet has been easier with a dollar earner in the family, and my parents are now able to enjoy some of life’s luxuries because of it. But then they’d rather leave my brother alone to manage his own money. He lives alone, and in a foreign land, for chris’sakes! And surely he has plans, a life to pursue. He earns dollars, true. But he SPENDS dollars, too.

    What piques me most is when people notice something new about the house, and ask if it comes from my bro… “uy, imported?” Or when I mention how difficult it is to manage a practice they’d often suggest that I ask… “si Nides diay?”

  2. To travel and see the world, sure. To live abroad… maybe. Not necessarily in the States. I’m more interested in Europe and in some Asian countries. But right now, I don’t see any real need for me to go elsewhere.
    I have a few friends and colleauges who have shifted to Nursing, in hopes that they might be able to work abroad, particularly America. With all due respect to those who have left, and are planning to — I don’t want to put to waste the education and the profession I had chosen and worked so hard for. Not to mention that I know deep in my heart that I’m not suited for Nursing (there are very limited options for dentists trained here wanting to practice abroad). I am fairly happy with the way life is. There may be a few things I won’t be able to afford in my lifetime, or won’t be able to acquire instantaneously, but I am enjoying pleasures others have sacrificed in exchange for.
    Isn’t it sad that MOST people enroll into it only because it can be their passport out? It’s unfortunate too that the government (who else is to blame again?) conspires with the educational system to mass produce for needs abroad (think Nursing, Nautical Sciences, IT, etc.) What happened to the obligation to provide for and support self sustenance? I can go on…
    Ting, this has struck a chord, I’ll have to repost this reply in my blog, either as it is or revised. With your permission, of course? Hehe..

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